FIGHT, FLIGHT, OR FREEZE?

My husband went to a seminar a month or so ago and was telling me about what he learned. One of the classes was about our brain. One part of the brain is the Prefrontal Cortex. With it we have effective communication, emotional balance, ability to choose, strategic thinking, empathy, intuition, fear moderation, and morality. Another part of our brain is the Limbic. It is the seat of emotion and memory and is crucial in decision-making and it contains the "amygdala". The third part of our brain is the Reptilian (kind of a creepy name). It regulates our breathing, heartbeat, etc., basic reproduction, and makes us react to given situations in either a Fight, Flight or Freeze mode (triggered by the amygdala).

I thought this was extremely interesting. It made me think how I react in situations. Do I run away, stand and fight, or freeze? After thinking about this, I decided that in most cases I "fight". There may be times when I "freeze" also. I may even "freeze" and then in a minute "fight". It makes me think that next time I start to "freeze", I'll recoginize what I am doing and change my reaction to "fight". I think that whatever you do, it is because of how you were raised, things that happened to you in your life, and what makes up your character. It also has made me look at other people and try to figure out if they are a Fight, Flight or Freeze person. Sometimes it's easy to see in other people, and sometimes not.

But here's one more question I have? Is "fight" the answer for every situation?

BELATED BIRTHDAY

Yesterday was my son, Survival Knife's birthday. Due to helping with a wedding all weekend and doing a big belated Easter/Triple Birthday dinner yesterday, I am blogging about his birthday today. Survival Knife was my first boy after 3 girls and 2 miscarriages. Here are some funny stories about him.

When he was about 4 we had been out doing errands and I decided to go stop at McDonalds and get everyone a soda. When I pulled up to the drive-up window to order, I asked the kids what they wanted to drink. Survival Knife said, "I don't want anything to drink - I don't want to drink and drive!"

One day Survival Knife came up to me and said, "Mama, why don't we kill our dog and buy a cat?" I said, "Heavens no! We love our dog!" He said, 'Well, I like cats too!"

One morning Survival Knife woke up about 5am and came and got in bed with us and went back to sleep. When I got up at 7am, I noticed that he was smiling and laughing in his sleep. Later he woke up at 7:30 and when he came into the kitchen he told Gilbert Girl, "I close my eyes and go to sleep and I dream about [Delirious]. Gilbert Girl tried to find out what his dream was about but all he could remember is that it was about Delirious.

Our family had been reading the Book of Mormon and we took turns reading. One day Amberlilies was reading and Survival Knife came over to me and whispered, "Can I read? I never get to read, 'And it came to pass'. I let him read the last two verses of that chapter, both of which started with 'And it came to pass'."

When Bullet for Babs was born, Survival Knife was about 4. I told Knife that all Babs could eat was milk and water because he was just newly born. The first time I nursed Babs in front of Survival Knife he looked at me funny so I told him Babs was drinking milk. Knife said, "What comes out of the other one, water?"

One summer when Knife was 4, I had to have him and Amberlilies share a bedroom. Knife didn't like this and didn't want to share a room with her. He was more of a neat freak than she was. He would come to me periodically throughout the day and say, "[Amberlilies] messed up my room, come and clean it up."

Gilbert Girl had a toy and was acting like she was going to hit Survival Knife with it. He got up and went to the toy box and got Amberlilies space helmet, put it on and went back and sat down by Gilbert Girl.

We're glad it's your birthday, dear Survival Knife!
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to you!
We sing you this song for your birthday!
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to you!

PHOTO ANSWER

The answer to my PHOTO QUESTION is: This is a picture of the head waters of the Mamoth River. :0}

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Today is my husband's birthday. I'm a terrible person. I forgot what day it was. Now, I didn't forget his birthday. I just forgot to keep track of the days. I didn't realize that today's date was the 28th. Anyway, this blog is devoted to him.

I met my husband through a mutual friend. My friend and I were at the local teenage hangout - a drive-in fast food place called the Hi-D-Ho. She was in her car and I was in mine and we were talking to each other with our windows down. All of a sudden she said, "I'll be right back" and started her car and drove off. Come to find out, she had seen my husband and his friends circle the drive-in and went to chase them down. She had gone to high school in their town which was about 2 1/2 hours south of our town. In a few minutes she came back in their car. The reason they were in our town, was that they were there to go to college. Only they had basically messed around and not really attended enough to get credit. We hung out with them that night. A few days later (can't remember how long) my friend called me to say that my husband wanted to go out with me. I told her that if he wanted to go out with me then he needed to call me himself and ask me. He didn't. I saw him the next night at a party with another girl. So I ignored him. A few more days went by and my friend and I were up at the Hi-D-Ho again and here they came again. We hung out with them again, and then started dating. In 2 weeks we were engaged, and 2 months later we were married. We have been married for 38 years.

My husband is a do-it-yourselfer. I think he can fix anything. One time we bought an old Ford cargo van and decided to customize it. He had bought windows for it but had never put windows in before. I was helping him and he knew I was kind of nervous about actually cutting a hole for the windows since we had never done this before. After he cut the hole, he handed me the sheet of metal and said, very seriously, "Now put this someplace safe, because we might have to weld it back if the window doesn't fit." I almost had a heart attack! I yelled, "WHAT?!!" When he started laughing, I knew he had just said that to get my goat.

Here are some things I love about him: When he listens to me I truly believe he is interested in what I have to say, He gets the morning paper for me, he never forgets my birthday or our anniversary, I used to think we were very different, but now I see that we are alike in many ways. He thinks I'm funny. He still flirts with me. He loves his children and grandchildren. He loves me in spite of my shortcomings. He was my biggest strength when I had my operation to have my both my knees replaced. He worries about me still. He is a hard worker. He has remained strong in the church even though he is the only member in his family. He loves my family.

Happy Birthday! I love you!

PHOTO QUESTION

Just thought I'd ask this question - does anyone recognize the picture on my blog? Do you know where this is?

FOR ONE MORE DAY

I just finished reading Mitch Albom's newest book, For One More Day. I thought this was a great book. It is the story of a man who is given the chance, in a very unique way, of having one more day with his mother, who passed a way several years before. In this "one more day" he spends with his mother, he has the opportunity to heal himself through questions that are answered about his life as well as his mother's and father's lives. He also has the opportunity to say the things he didn't say before she died.

This book made me think a lot. It made me think of my own mother and father and my relationship, past and present, with them. It made me think of my own kids and their relationship, past and present, with me. It also made me think who I might want "one more day" with. I haven't totally answered this question yet. I don't know if I would want "one more day" with someone I have known. What I would like more is "one day" with someone I have never met. My father's sister was murdered by her husband, who then killed himself. I would like "one day" with her, I guess to just be nosey and ask her about her life and tell her how devastating the whole thing was to her children who had to continue to live their lives afterwards. Another person I would like "one day" with is my dad's father. He died, I think, when I was a year old. I would like to ask him about his life, and about my dad's life as a boy.

I guess if I were to pick someone to have "one more day" with, I would pick my grandfather, my mother's dad, mostly because I miss him. I think I was closer to my grandfather than I was to my grandmother. My grandfather was always teasing and making jokes. I think I only had one serious conversation with him in my whole life (of which I won't go into here). Maybe that is what I would talk to him about. I would be serious, just for part of the day, and talk to him about his life, and his testimony. Then maybe the rest of the day we could go back to joking around and teasing again. :0}

Who would your "one more day" be with?

SACRIFICE BRINGS FORTH THE BLESSINGS OF HEAVEN

My husband teaches the Adult Sunday School class at our church. I have been reflecting on the lesson he taught Sunday. In this lesson, one thing he talked about was sacrifice, and how we think sometimes we are sacrificing certain things in our lives. He read a few really good quotes that have made me think about my own life. Here they are:

"A religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things never has power proficient to produce the faith necessary unto life and salvation; for, from the first existence of man, the faith necessary unto the enjoyment of life and salvation never could be obtained without the sacrifice of all earthly things. It was through this sacrifice, and this only, that God has ordained that men should enjoy eternal life". - N.B. Lundwall

"Sacrifice pertains to mortality; in the eternal sense there is none. Sacrifice involves giving up of the things of this world because of the promises of blessings to be gained in a better world. In the eternal perspective there is no sacrifice in giving up all things - even including the laying down of one's life - if eternal life is gained through such a course." - Bruce R. McConkie

"We once knew our Elder Brother and His and our Father in Heaven. We rejoiced at the prospects of earth life that could make it possible for us to have a fulness of joy. We could hardly wait to demonstrate to our Father and our Brother, the Lord, how much we loved them and how we would be obedient to them in spite of the earthly opposition to the evil one.
"Now we are here. Our memories are veiled. We are showing God and ourselves what we can do. Nothing is going to startle us more when we pass through the veil to the other side to realize how well we know our Father, and how familiar his face is to us.
"God loves us. He is waching us. He wants us to succeed. We will know some day that He has not left one thing undone for the eternal welfare of each of us. If we only knew it, heavenly hosts are pulling for us - friends in heaven that we cannot now remember who yearn for our victory. This is our day to show what we can do - what life and sacrifice we can daily, hourly, instantly make for God. If we give our all, we will get His all from the greatest of all.
"Give God your best and His best will come back to you." - President Ezra Taft Benson

ENTERING THE 21ST CENTURY

On our recent weekend trip to San Francisco, I told my husband that I had not officially entered the 21st century. After we arrived at the SF airport, we boarded the airtrain to go to the rental car place. The airtrain had no driver and it had an automated woman's voice that told you when the doors were closing, when to hold on, and what terminal or place you were approaching. When we got to the rental car place, we did not have to stand in line, but went to a signboard, found our name - which told the number of the parking space our rental car was in and we went directly to our car and got in. When we got in, my husband realized he had not rented a car with a GPS, and since he thought it would come in handy in the SF area, decided to go in to the counter and switch that car for one with a GPS. The GPS was extremely handy finding where to go in SF. Once again, it was a woman's automated voice. She told us what lane to get in, and how far it was to the next turn. If my husband was speeding too much (ie. going too fast on an exit ramp) the directions would come too slow. When we got to our destination, she would declare: "You have arrived!" One time, I guess we were going too slow, she announced, "You have arrived" while we were in the middle of an intersection and so we actually drove on past the sports store we were looking for. As soon as we had passed it, she announced, "Recaculating route" and proceeded to give us directions on how to get back to the store. It was pretty cool! If she told you to make a certain turn, right as you were coming onto the place where you were to turn, a chime would ding to let you know that was it. After we got back home, we were going somewhere. I was telling my husband how to get to this certain place and told him to turn. When he turned he said, 'You forgot to ding".

THE SILENT TREATMENT

My husband and I went to San Francisco last weekend. Flying out and back I decided to try an experiment. The "tag-blogs" about the 5 kindness things started me thinking. Most people, in their kindness to strangers said they talked to people in line or in waiting rooms, etc. I wondered if I never said anything, would strangers talk to me first? My husband booked me a seat in first class and he was in coach. (His company paid for his ticket and I flew on his frequent flyer miles. He said he booked my seat in first class so I could have more leg room, although I told him I would rather sit by him than have leg room. :0} ) So other than pointing to my seat and saying that was my seat by the window, I said nothing to my seat-mates. Having to change planes in Phoenix going out and coming back, I ended up sitting by 3 men, and 1 woman. No one said a word to me. In Phoenix, I went to get a sandwich and there was nowhere to sit. I saw a woman sitting by herself at a 4-top so I went up to her and asked if anyone was sitting with her and when she said no, asked if I could sit with her. I thought, "This will be the real test - I spoke to her first, now let's see if she speaks to me if I don't say anything more." She didn't. I thought this experiment was quite interesting. Do people just want to be left alone? Are people just not interested in making small talk? Do they not care enough to make the effort to make conversation? Do men only talk to "hot" looking women? Do women only talk to "hot" looking men?

IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, SHOUT HOORAY!

Today is my 5th child's birthday! Happy Birthday, Bullet for Babs! I thought I'd blog a little bit about him today. When I decided I wanted just one more baby, I had to talk my husband into it. I "promised" him it would be a boy. I told him that I knew that it would be a boy. I don't know how I knew, but I did. Bullet for Babs brother also knew he would be a boy. My husband used to tell me that I should prepare Survival Knife, just in case it wasn't a boy, but Survival Knife never waivered. He would tell me, "No! He's a boy!"

When Bullet for Babs was little, I used to call him my "Sweet Baboo". We also called him "Boogie Down Baby" because he always liked a song with a good beat. When ever a rock song would come on, he would rock back and forth in his crib, high chair, car seat, play pen, or whatever in tempo with the music. In fact by the time he was 2 he had rocked his crib so much that I couldn't tighten the screws anymore and we had to take it down and junk it.

When he was only a year old he could throw a ball straight to you. He could also catch it if you threw it back. We couldn't believe how good he could throw. His favorite things were balls. "Ball" was even one of his first words.

Bullet for Babs loved to wear his Superman cape whenever he was at home, and would wear it all the time. It was actually a Superman/Batman cape, because it was reversible. Whenever we left to go out, I would make him take it off and then he would always wear a baseball cap whenever he went anywhere. He continued this until he was well into his teens and then he quit wearing a baseball cap because it messed up his hair.

Here's a story Bullet for Babs wrote when he was in school. Unfortunately, I don't know how old he was because it didn't have a date on it. I have typed it exactly like he wrote it, with no corrections:

"I like creamy peanut butter. I like it because it is a lot better than crunchy peanut butter. It tastes good. I think people should like creamy peanut butter because if you're eating crunchy peanut butter and you see a movie with a bug it will feel like you're eating the bug. I like creamy peanut butter because you can use it to make creamy peanut butter cookies.
"I like creamy peanut because it is more like butter and butter is not crunchy. I like creamy peanut butter because I like it to go through my teeth. I think people should like creamy peanut butter instead of crunchy is that creamy slides down your throat and crunchy you have to chew it and sometimes the nuts in crunchy peanut butter gets stuck in your teeth and you have to take forever to pick it out."

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BULLET FOR BABS!

PEOPLE ARE STRANGE

My husband and I just got back from a weekend trip to San Francisco. We had a great time. I'll blog more later about that, but I have a couple of stories.

STORY #1 - After we returned from a tour, we decided since we were already down by the wharves, that we would go to Pier 39 to do some shopping. We had parked up by the Ferry Building so we could catch the tour, but decided to just leave our car where it had been in the parking lot all day and just catch the streetcar down to Pier 39. After we had dinner and did some shopping we went to wait for the streetcar to take us back to our car. The signboard showing the minutes of how long it would be until the next car kept counting down, then all of a sudden it added several minutes back on. It counted down again and then did the same thing. When the streetcar finally arrived it was jam-packed. (I forgot to mention that the St. Patrick Day's Parade had been that day and there were mobs of people there.) The driver motioned for everyone to move back, and as we got on - standing room only - I joked to the people sitting below me that we were going to "have to get real friendly". This caused a laugh and so we started talking. One guy asked me if I had heard why the streetcar was late, and I said no. He said some drunk had gotten into an argument with the streetcar driver and the drunk actually punched the driver. Still arguing, the drunk decided to call the police. He obviously thought the streetcar driver was the one who would get arrested. WRONG! The driver had a streetcar full of witnesses that saw the drunk being obnoxious, and throw the first punch. The drunk was arrested.
STORY #2 - This happened the morning I was leaving San Francisco. At the airport some guy was waiting in a wheelchair at one of those places where the shuttle buss picks you up and takes you either to the rent car place or a hotel (can't remember which one it was). When the shuttle bus driver got off to help the guy, the guy jumped out of the wheel chair, jumped onto the bus and shut the door and drove off with all the people in the bus. As it turned out he only drove around and let the rest of the people off at their terminal and then he got off. Since the other people left (or didn't realize that he wasn't the bus driver) there were no witnesses to help the cops find the guy.
People are strange, when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly, when you're alone
People seem wicked, when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven, when you're down
When you're strange - faces come out of the rain
When you're strange - no one remembers your name
When you're strange, when you're strange, when you're strange.

5 THINGS

Inside Stories tagged me for this blog:

5 THINGS I DO FOR MYSELF:
1. Read
2. Listen to books on cd
3. Blog
4. Watch movies every once in a while that I know my husband won't watch
5. Teach Seminary (I have to say I've held on for 4 years teaching, more for myself than for the kids, I want the knowledge that I get from it)

5 THINGS I DO FOR MY HUSBAND / CLOSE FRIENDS / CHILDREN:
1. I am my husband's personal secretary - I buy his clothes, run his errands, help with his projects, am his gopher, etc.
2. Go out to lunch every Friday with my friends.
3. Listen to my children's problems and try to help them
4. Pray for them
5. Babysit my grandkids

5 THINGS I DO FOR STRANGERS:
1. Give money to the poor via church offerings, charities, and once in a while to the person on the street.
2. Smile
3. Talk to the person in line, in the elevator, in a waiting room, etc.
4. Drive curteously
5. Help someone I see that might need it, if I am able to do so - pick up something dropped, hold the door, give directions, get something off a high shelf, etc

I tag Native Minnow, Bullet for Babs, and Twist

A BIBLE, A BIBLE! WE HAVE NO NEED OF A BIBLE!

I was reading Delirious' blog about being asked to speak at a women's meeting. I thought I would tell you about the experience I had last week of speaking at a board meeting for RS teachers. I was asked to speak for 15 minutes on using the scriptures in your lessons. I had no qualms about this, because this is a subject I feel strongly about and I feel like, at least in my ward, the only time I open my scriptures is during Sunday School. I wanted these ladies to understand that they needed to USE their scriptures more and not just print the scripture on a piece of paper for someone to read. Also because I have had training on this, I felt I could pass some great tips along to these women.

I wish I could tell you how great it went. It didn't. I wanted to talk a short time about footnotes, chapter headings, the Bible dictionary and the JST translation (which no one knew where it was located by the way). I was going to get these women to use their scriptures as we discussed all this...however NO ONE brought their scriptures! The education counselor appologized for no one having their scriptures because she didn't tell them to bring them. Now ask yourself this question: If you asked someone to speak about using the scriptures, wouldn't you tell all your teachers (on the invitation you sent out) to make sure they brought their scriptures? Or wouldn't you have at least gone and retrieved scriptures from the library - one for each woman? I felt like saying, "This is the point I wanted to make - women don't take the scriptures seriously enough" and just sit down. AAUUUGGGHHH! As it was, I gave my speech and sat down, thinking I had spoken waaayy over their heads.

PARCHED

It's amazing to me to realize how much bodily fluid must go to making (to put it nicely) "nasal fluid". Having had "the crud" for several days, my body feels like it is dehydrated no mater how much H2O I drink.

OUT-OF-DATE

My co-teacher and I were talking about out-of-date words and phrases. This was instigated in our conversation about flip flops (See blog "HOW COOL ARE YOU?"). I mentioned that I had finally got in the habit of calling them flip flops instead of "thongs". When I was growing up we called them "thongs". We can't call them that now for obvious reasons. Here are some other out-of-date things, words and phrases: albums, dial that number, transistor radio, 8 track tape, portable typewriter, full-service gas station, hi-fi, beta tape, black-and-white tv, console tv, tape deck...Can you think of any more?

THE CRUD

OK, I hate to admit it, but I've finally got the CRUD! I've been trying to think of what went wrong in my plan? (See blog "SICKO") Did I catch it when I went 2 days without changing my hand towel or pillowcase? Did I absent-mindedly pick my nose? Or did the germs just band together and do an all-out attack? Sometimes I wonder if we don't "will" ourselves, or rather "allow" ourselves to go ahead and get sick. I was thinking just last week about wondering how long I could hold out. I thought it would be just my luck to come down with the crud the weekend I'm going to go to San Francisco or maybe Spring Break week. I thought to myself that maybe it would be better to just go ahead and get it - then bang! Now I've got it. Of course I picked a week when all the other organists (3) are out of town so I still had to go to church today.

HOW COOL ARE YOU?

I was chatting with some students before Seminary Friday morning. I mentioned that I've been wearing flip flops during the winter and several others said they needed socks. I said my feet never really got that cold. Just then another student walked in wearing flip flops.
I said, "I____'s wearing flip flops!" A girl said, "Yeah, but see he's wearing sweat pants and he's a swimmer!" I said, "What's that got to do with it?" My co-teacher said, "She's just saying you're not cool enough to get away with it!"