Sunday, August 5, 2007

It's a Heartache.....

My heart is sad today. Why do we say that? Is my heart really sad, or is it my soul? If told you I had a "soul-ache" would you know what I was meaning? Maybe it's both my heart and my soul. I talked to two people today who asked me about something that makes me sad to think about. Everytime I have to think about it for very long, or talk to someone about it for very long, then I get depressed and it is hard for me to pull out of it for at least a day or so.
Oh, don't worry, I'm not going to go mental or anything, but my heart (and my soul) definitely ache.

This life is all about free agency. We are free to choose to act for ourselves. But do we even stop to think how those choices might affect someone else? Someone who loves and cares about us? But hey, we are adults! How dare anyone ever make a suggestion on how we should live our lives. I have a friend named M___ who jokes and says she wishes people would come to her and ask her how they should live their lives. She says she has a lot of opinions and usually can look at people and see what they are doing wrong in their lives. If they came to her and let her tell them what they should or shouldn't be doing, it would save them a lot of heartache (there's that word again). Another friend and I laugh about this and wonder what M___would say to us. We say we would like someone to look at our lives and tell us what we were doing wrong. But then I look at her and say facetiously that I don't see anything wrong in her life and she says the same thing to me and then we both look at each other and know that we really don't want to hear it.

So we go through this life and we make mistakes. I think that is the only way I can learn. By making mistakes. So I guess I will just keep making them. And hopefully learning from them. Or repeating them. Again and again. And I'll try to keep my mouth shut and not give my opinion so freely. And maybe I'll learn to deal with this heart/soul-ache.

2 comments:

Delirious said...

I definitely think it's "soul-ache", but you also feel the stress in your heart. This week I was particularly over stressed about several things. I was out doing errands and I could feel the sadness, but I could also feel the physical stress to my heart.

It would be nice if you could tell people how to live their lives, and show them the mistakes they are making, but unfortunately most people don't want to hear it. They just have to make their own mistakes, and HOPEFULLY learn from them.

Inside Stories said...

I know what you both mean, and the reason we can't tell everyone how to live their lives, even thought the three of us are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, is because then we would become DAD. And that is just too scary to think about, because then our kids wouldn't want to come see us, either. :0)
Also, stress and heart-ache are now normal for me. I don't see any end to it, not even after death.